the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize