Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize