Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
