Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
