my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
