physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
