he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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