Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
