I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
