I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
