and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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