My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I have peed in a lot of sinks
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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