Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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