NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
