I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
