you guys were way drunker than both of me
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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