Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
