Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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