i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I have already put on my inside pants.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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