there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
