Who did Billy Mays play for?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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