ya dads aren't the best wingmen
You just made me feel so damn special
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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