That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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