What a fucking waste of an outfit
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
