Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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