so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
