You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
