My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Sober January is a disaster.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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