Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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