he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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