you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Your cock deserves a montage
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
