she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
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