You're completely useless in the revolution.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
