that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
