Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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