This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
