I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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