OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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