Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
