we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
