Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
