We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
