Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
