Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
