Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Who died my cat blue again?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
