So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
