mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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