He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
