Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
please come you make the beer taste better
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
