She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize