i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
