You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
We left an ass print on the piano.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
