would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
