I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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