yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
