what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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