i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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