you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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